The Delight of Despair

When I saw Him, I fell at His feet as dead —Revelation 1:17

It may be that, like the apostle John, you know Jesus Christ intimately. Yet when He suddenly appears to you with totally unfamiliar characteristics, the only thing you can do is fall “at His feet as dead.” There are times when God cannot reveal Himself in any other way than in His majesty, and it is the awesomeness of the vision which brings you to the delight of despair. You experience this joy in hopelessness, realizing that if you are ever to be raised up it must be by the hand of God.

“He laid His right hand on me . . .” (Revelation 1:17). In the midst of the awesomeness, a touch comes, and you know it is the right hand of Jesus Christ. You know it is not the hand of restraint, correction, nor chastisement, but the right hand of the Everlasting Father. Whenever His hand is laid upon you, it gives inexpressible peace and comfort, and the sense that “underneath are the everlasting arms” (Deuteronomy 33:27), full of support, provision, comfort, and strength. And once His touch comes, nothing at all can throw you into fear again. In the midst of all His ascended glory, the Lord Jesus comes to speak to an insignificant disciple, saying, “Do not be afraid” (Revelation 1:17). His tenderness is inexpressibly sweet. Do I know Him like that?

Take a look at some of the things that cause despair. There is despair which has no delight, no limits whatsoever, and no hope of anything brighter. But the delight of despair comes when “I know that in me (that is, in my flesh) nothing good dwells . . .” (Romans 7:18). I delight in knowing that there is something in me which must fall prostrate before God when He reveals Himself to me, and also in knowing that if I am ever to be raised up it must be by the hand of God. God can do nothing for me until I recognize the limits of what is humanly possible, allowing Him to do the impossible.

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絕望中的興奮

我一看見，就仆倒在他腳前，像死了一樣。 （啟一17）

也許你像約翰一樣，與主耶穌相知甚深。但當他突然以完全陌生的面貌出現，你只能仆倒他腳前像死去一樣。有時神不能以別的辦法顯示他自己，就只好以他的威嚴顯現。那異像中的威榮，叫你在絕望中心懷興奮。那時，你要再起來，就必須捉著神的手了。

[他用右手按著我說。 ]在驚恐中，有人觸摸你，你便曉得那時耶穌基督的右手。不是阻止、糾正或管教的右手，而是永在的父的右手。無論他的手什麼時候放在你身上，總有難以形容的平安與安慰，因為知道有永遠的膀臂在扶持，就得著供應、安慰與力量。神的撫摸一來，就再沒有什麼能叫你恐懼的了。主耶穌帶著天上的榮耀，對一個微不足道的門徒說：[不要懼怕。 ]他的仁慈是那樣的溫柔，我對他有這樣的認識麼？

留心那些令人絕望的事物。有一種絕望是沒有喜樂、沒有展望、沒有曙光。可是只要我知道[在我裡頭，就是在我肉體之中，沒有良善]，那時絕望中的喜樂就來了。在神榮耀的彰顯之中，我必須謙恭俯伏。若要起來，神必親手攙扶。除非我到了一切的盡頭，否則神不能為我作什麼。

祈禱◆噢，主啊，在屬靈和各方滿，願你加倍地保守這聖靈的殿。賜給我們你所喜悅的光輝和明亮。