“I Indeed . . . But He”

I indeed baptize you with water . . . but He . . . will baptize you with the Holy Spirit and fire —Matthew 3:11

Have I ever come to the point in my life where I can say, “I indeed . . . but He . . .”? Until that moment comes, I will never know what the baptism of the Holy Spirit means. I indeed am at the end, and I cannot do anything more— but He begins right there— He does the things that no one else can ever do. Am I prepared for His coming? Jesus cannot come and do His work in me as long as there is anything blocking the way, whether it is something good or bad. When He comes to me, am I prepared for Him to drag every wrong thing I have ever done into the light? That is exactly where He comes. Wherever I know I am unclean is where He will put His feet and stand, and wherever I think I am clean is where He will remove His feet and walk away.

Repentance does not cause a sense of sin— it causes a sense of inexpressible unworthiness. When I repent, I realize that I am absolutely helpless, and I know that through and through I am not worthy even to carry His sandals. Have I repented like that, or do I have a lingering thought of possibly trying to defend my actions? The reason God cannot come into my life is that I am not at the point of complete repentance.

“He will baptize you with the Holy Spirit and fire.” John is not speaking here of the baptism of the Holy Spirit as an experience, but as a work performed by Jesus Christ. “He will baptize you . . . .” The only experience that those who are baptized with the Holy Spirit are ever conscious of is the experience of sensing their absolute unworthiness.

“I indeed” was this in the past, “but He” came and something miraculous happened. Get to the end of yourself where you can do nothing, but where He does everything.

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我是……但祂

我是用水給你們施洗，……但……他要用聖靈與火給你們施洗。 （太三11）

我是否已經到達可以說[我是……但他]的地步？未經歷這一刻，便實在不知道聖靈的洗到底是什麼意思。我果真到了盡頭，一無辦法；他就在此開始作人所無法作的。我預備好迎接他的來臨嗎？若路上有東西阻隔，不論是好是壞，他都不能來。在他來的時候，我是否預備好讓他把我一切的錯失帶到光中對付？他正要在這些事上臨到你。我明知不潔的地方，他就插足其中；我以為潔淨的地方，他就離去。

悔改並不會帶來罪疚感，只會叫人覺得自己絕對的不配。我悔改時，知道自己無能為力，連替他提鞋也不配。我有沒有這樣悔改過？還是暗地裡還為自己留一點餘地？神仍未能進入我的生命，是因為我還未徹底悔改。 [他要用聖靈與火給你們施洗。 ]約翰並沒有把聖靈的洗當作一個經歷，他是視之為耶穌基督的工作。 [他要給你們施洗。 ]凡受過聖靈施洗的人，唯一的知覺就是自己完全不配。 [我是……]這樣或那樣，[但他]來了，奇妙的事就發生。我們退居末位吧，讓他成就一切。

祈禱◆主啊，我多麼貧乏！那麼多的軟弱潛伏在隱藏的地方，要將我整個人摧毀。噢，主啊，我投向你。我何等需要認識到，離開了你，我便不能作什麼。